Marry, Boff, Kill: The Curious Case of Lana Del Rey

I found a picture that captures all three elements of the game!

Lauren and I are confused and divided over Lana Del Rey. Lauren used to be a fan. I hadn't really heard of her. After her trainwreck performance on SNL, Lauren reevaluated her fan-liness while I became interested in how someone who bombed THAT BAD (and let's face it, it was really bad) could be a phenomenon. So, I listened to how "Video Games" was supposed to sound, and lordy, I liked it. I liked it a lot. I read why she wrote it and where it came from, and I connected with it. And I liked her.

I continued watching different clips of hers and different clips of her performing that song... and curiously and hilariously each one brought on a different reaction. Sometimes she was this sex bomb with big pouty lips, introverted hotness and a flirty, husky voice. Sometimes, she just seemed like that cool, approachable chick. Sometimes she came off as this pretentious lady who bored the life out of me.

Which brings us to today's game:

Marry Boff Kill- The Lana Del Rey Edition

It's been awhile since we've played this, so let me refresh.  Given three different people (the premise of this being she can be three different people), who would you marry, boff, and kill.  (Our awesome thought experiment begins after the break)

Marry

I'd marry the green, rough but talented, full-of-promise Lizzy Grant.  

Not sure if this is common knowledge, but before she was Lana Del Rey, she was Lizzy Grant.  She released an album under this name, but her people or handlers convinced her to take a stage name that was old-school-sounding to better fit her old-school musical sensibilities.  Part of me wants to hate that idea because why change your name after you've released an album and have a fan base?  But, I understand the decision.  And if one is to be dubbed a "gangsta Nancy Sinatra," (And damn the person that thought of that and ran with it.  No one still says "gangsta" seriously), it'd just sounds better with "Lana Del Rey."  But yes, I would rather marry this girl.  And though this particular performance is comparable to bad karaoke... and though it's kinda dull... and though she lacks any stage presence, I appreciate that she's working.  This isn't about glamour.  She's in a t-shirt and jeans.  This is about passion for the music.  I respect that.  At 3:02, she even seems like she's having fun.  I'd marry this Lana Del Rey.

Boff

The Lana Del Rey from the "Video Games" video 

or

The Lana Del Ray from the "Video Games" performance on Jools Holland

In both videos, she oozes sex appeal with her big lips, ruffled hair, and come-hither glances... Hardly even looks like the same person.  Her singing has vastly improved, and her voice now has character... And when she turns on that flirty, breathy thing, it's pretty hot.  I included both versions of this song because it was the appearance on Jools Holland that won me over.  Remember, I'd only seen the shitty performance on SNL, so I wanted to know if she could pull off singing in front of an audience.  And I think she can.   

Kill 
(and note that is is not a death threat)

The Lana Del Rey that blathers on and on and on and on about her music video and "chateaus." 

Seriously, substitute "chateaus" with "my cat" in this video, and it's like listening to a girl I used to date.  To sum up that train of thought better, a clip from Demetri Martin.

Lana talks about how she makes her videos... Lana, your ability to splice video footage, lip sync, and talk about what you think is pretty are the least interesting things about you... or at least I hope so.  It is the longest three minutes you'll ever have.  And though it seems like she's trying to be insightful and intellectual, she comes off as shallow and pretentious.  I like listening to DVD commentaries, and even I found this unbearable.

OR

Kill the Lana Del Rey from her epic fail of a SNL performance.

Kill her just to put her out of her misery.  It is utterly amazing how bad this is.  Seriously, she... the chick from all those clips above... somehow managed to look and sound terrible.  Everything that's been said about this has been said... but egads... I blame nerves.  Gotta be nerves.

Admittedly, I only really know that one song of hers, and I do like it.  I've tried listening to others, but none have popped as much as the first did.  I don't know anything about this woman, but it feels like the hype got to her.  Her whole everything changed, but why?  Lady Gaga can pull off a change like that because Stefani Germanotta has an otherworldly talent and charisma.  LDR isn't there yet.  This recent incarnation of Ms. Del Rey feels (and looks) manufactured and as though someone other than Lana is pulling the strings.  I think she has potential to be pretty good (have a hard time saying "great,") and maybe the SNL performance has humbled her and her hype machine a bit.

Her album drops on 1/31/2012.  We'll have something to say about it.

Be on the lookout when Lana comes to Austin for SXSW... Ya know... along with the 1000 other people that are playing.



Jack is the co-creator and co-contributor of motorcycle sidecar drama.  Though Jack's delusions of grandeur are getting to him, he is very aware that he's totally armchair quarterbacking his way through life and that he would totally marry and boff any incarnation of Lizzy Grant.