THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012) - A Spoiler-Free Review

It is just about impossible to talk about how great a movie this is without giving away anything.  Truthfully, to talk about it to someone who hasn't seen it just feels wrong.  Even naming characters or saying who they are or what they do feels like I'm robbing you of the experience of finding out.  The best way to walk into this movie is to have no idea what to expect and just let everything unfold.  Because the tone quickly establishes that you won't get what anyone's doing, so just sit back and relax a spell.  Watching how everything plays out is one of the most fun and satisfying movie-watching experiences I've ever had.  It's not a movie for everyone.  It really isn't.  But golly, just watch it.  Because you'll either love it and think is brilliant... or you'll think it was alright... or somewhere in between...

So how can I talk about a movie without talking about it?  By using my ridiculous, moderately-handsome face.  I give you the first-ever Motorcycle Sidecar Drama Movie Review... in Pictures.  

An unhealthy level or narcissism after the break.

So, the movie plays on so many levels, and you really don't get what's going on at first.  The opening scene seems out of place.

Then the story shifts to a completely different setting... Now, it starts to feel like every modern horror movie you've ever seen.

And there's this cabin in the woods... and weird stuff starts happening... and you learn how those things are related.  But still, you don't really get it.

 And then you find yourself somewhere between scared and amused... but mighty entertained.

And then the bat-shit crazy 3rd Act Happens.  Seriously, there are no words to describe just how much fun shit gets when shit gets crazy.

And then you get to the climax...

...and resolution.  And you start realize what the story was all about and what the writers (the brilliant Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard) were trying to do.  You start to realize how many levels that the story goes.

And then you fall asleep because... well, because you had a long day.

I'm trying to write up a real write-up (full of spoilers) about this movie because I just get a buzz of excitement when I talk about it.  But until then, I'll just say this.  

Acting, directing, editing, story, script, idea... All of it...

As of right now, we are giving THE CABIN IN THE WOODS the highest rating we have ever given a movie on this blog (so far).
9 Angry Molesting Trees